I am Samuel Sartoff Seras Slothington III, and I am from the Planet of Sloth. I was chosen by the royal court to be the first sloth to go to Moonbase Alpha. I accepted and was sent to Moonbase Alpha in the year 2018. Moonbase Alpha was still being built, but we Sloths just like to take our time, so we set our ship to get us there in the year 2047. Until then, I was sleeping and looking at my claws and stuff. I did a lot of thinking, like why the heck do I have claws? Also like the stuff im missing out on ” House of Trees” and “Game of Thorns”. Eventually, I made it to Moonbase Alpha, but it took me three weeks to crawl to my living quarters. The biggest difference from here and Sloth is that I seem to be the slowest thing around. Back in sloth, I was the fastest sloth in the western hemisphere, while the eastern hemisphere had “Slothaine Bolt”. I’m still not very accustomed to this fast-paced life, but I am trying my best.
Dank Waters is a human I met from the planet earth. He was a millionaire? I wasn’t too sure what that meant. He said it means he was rolling in paper, but I don’t see the point in rolling around in paper if you can’t eat it. He is a strange fellow from “Earth” but he knows a ton of things about “Earth” and I think he is a great storyteller. Apparently there are also these things called “Zoos” where they enslave Sloths and Tigers and all kinds of planetary beings and put them in cages and show them off. I get nightmares from this story because that sounds like a terrible way to live…. But I heard that they give free food, so that sounds pretty awesome.
Robert Lee Abram was also a human, and is heavily involved in the military. He has a family line of tank commanders and strategists and takes great pride in it. I did not know that “Earth” was such a violent planet. In Sloth, if someone is mad at someone else, we get into a fight, but because we can’t see anything with our poor eyesight, we end up hitting ourselves and we call a truce. Humans should just get poor eyesight too, it stops wars. However, Dank Waters told me that in “Earth” there are these things called glasses that help you see. I think he is probably lying, but a sloth can dream y’know?
Bupkus Elwing is from the planet Blov, and is like my favorite person ever. Elwing is so athletic and stuff that Elwing helps me get around places when time is quite a factor for me. It’s nice to not see a human because there seems to be so much around. Elwing is so tall and strong that even the bigger humans leave Elwing alone. YEAH THAT’S RIGHT! Samuel Sartoff Seras Slothington III HAS A SUPER STRONG AWESOME FRIEND THAT CAN MAKE HIM POPULAR.